Me and my friend are still in the process of getting my mom’s estate settled. We’ve been able to get a few bills canceled on our own, but the house and everything else will need the help of an attorney.
I’m having to wait for my new ID to come in the mail. To buy death certificates requires an ID with my current address. We moved into a new place this year, and I hadn’t updated my ID yet.
We already talked to a local attorney in Pennsylvania. My friend had a meeting with him. My friend already spoke to an auctioneer about auctioning the house. The auctioneer sent me a few contracts to sign, but I have to wait for that, too.
It’s all a process.
But a part of me doesn’t want to get rid of the house.
My mom always told me if anything happened to her, the house would be mine.
A part of me wants to move and live there.
The mortgage payment is so much cheaper than our rent. And honestly, being somewhere without Victor’s family around would save us a lot of money. His mom living with us costs money and all that he does for the rest of his family and his kids.
But I don’t think it would be possible.
I need the money from selling the house to pay for her ashes and the remaining bills. Also, it would cost quite a bit for me and Victor to move there, and we don’t have the money to do that. Not to mention having to find work to pay the bills.
And I don’t know if I can convince Victor to move away from his family.
He talks to them, but he’s not close to his family like me and my mom were. His trauma is what causes him to feel responsible for his family.
I wish I could convince him to move to Pennsylvania. I have family there, but I’m not close to them. I have a few good friends there. I know my mom is gone, but Pennsylvania is where I’d rather be.
I know Victor’s family. I’ve met them. I’ve spent the holidays with them. I have talked to his stepmother a lot.
His dad and one sister told Victor to give me their condolences. But none of them have reached out to me personally. His sister is on my friend’s list on Facebook. She could reach out to me if she wanted.
Am I expecting too much from them? I don’t know. I’ve moved away from my home twice for Victor. We’ve been together for over four years now. Victor told me in the past that his family is mine, too.
But what do me and Victor have here besides each other? That’s how I feel.
Victor explained to his family what happened with my mom. He told them we’d have to go there eventually for me to sign papers. And I’m sure he told them the financial strain it could cause us.
But like my family, they haven’t offered any help.
I’ve dealt with family like this my whole life. Victor has, too. But he responds to it differently. I don’t deny how my family is. But I think he is still in denial.
He told me his family used to be close. They would get together for holidays, but when his grandma died, they started fighting and stabbing each other in the back.
I don’t believe the death of one family member could turn a whole supposedly close and loving family against each other. I think the truth is that is who his family always were. It just took the death of his grandma for everyone to show their true colors.
I think he’s in denial because of his trauma, but it’s also normal to want a close and loving family. I wish I had that, too.
This is all so hard.
I just want a better life for me and Victor.